Tantra and Polyamory are two different things. It is possible – and usual – to embrace one and not the other. The desire for several or many loves does not imply an attraction to Tantra and Tantra does not inevitably lead to Polyamory. However, there are certain principles of Tantra that when lived can take a Tantric couple in the direction of including others in their love for each other and allowing a more polyamorous life-style.

Tantric couples tend to be open to a more free-ranging sensual expression of their own and their partner’s natures. Out of a profound respect for themselves and their partner, and the realization of their divine natures, they choose the highest good for their partner, as for themselves. They do not seek to deter their beloved from their highest choice for the sake of their own fear. Experiencing the profound depth of the love they share with their beloved, they follow the logical and spiritual path of forsaking fear and embracing a broader experience of love that does not diminish the depth to which they experience love with their partner.

This greater openness may range anywhere along the continuum defined below:

• Allowing a more touchy-feely, cuddly, heart-connected loving relationship with others

• Allowing sensual, non-genital caressing

• Allowing sensual-sexual play sans intercourse

• Allowing other lovers to play sensually and sexually with the couple

• Allowing your partner to spend private time with others that includes sensual and sexual play, as well as times all shared together.


The key spiritual foundations of this openness include:

• The emphasis of Tantra on non-attachment, on celebrating and saying yes to life, on surrendering to life and flowing with it, rather than struggling against it.

• The ultimate virtue of being totally present in the moment in all of ones senses, while being focused primarily out of the heart and not the head.

• The acknowledgement that the divinity is in all – and not only ones partner. It is in the other Beloveds, yourself and in existence itself. When you experience this, your heart opens in love, you feel your connectedness with existence, you feel complete in yourself. Pleasure comes from all directions – and jealousy pales.

• The sacred heart space which ultimately becomes a part of who you are and not just a special feeling for your partner.

• The experience of the union of the sexual and spiritual energy as a potential quality of human nature and not only your own unique bond with your partner

• The knowledge that a Tantrically spiritual person must be a free spirit and that freedom when combined with love and cherishing of the primary partner leads only to a deeper and richer love.